ArticlesBlog

Whistleblower Mildred Mildew on the Royal Oaks Community Garden Scandal

Whistleblower Mildred Mildew on the Royal Oaks Community Garden Scandal


-Lately — I don’t need to
tell you that lately the news has been abuzz about
the whistleblowers who have come forward with
inside information about
President Trump. And here tonight is the original
anonymous whistleblower bravely addressing the public
for the first time. Please give a warm welcome
to Mildred Mildew, everybody. [ Cheers and applause ] -Hi! Hey! Hi! Oh, wow! Wow. Hi, Seth. -So, wait, now. You —
You are the whistleblower? -Absolutely.
-Okay. ‘Cause I only want to have you
on the show if you are. -I’m definitely
worth having on TV. -All right. Well, tell us
everything you know. -Okay. Well, I blew the whistle
because Megan, who’s in charge of crowning the community garden’s
monthly flower king, told me that my roses
were the most beautiful. But the next day, her
e-mail blast to the whole club said that Arthur’s
were the best! Which makes no sense, because — -Mildred?
-Seth? [ Laughter ] -I brought you here
to talk about Trump. -Oh! His rose garden is great, but I heard he doesn’t
even grow them himself. Just like Arthur.
That little rascal actually hired outside help
to tend to his flowers. -So you don’t know anything
about President Trump and his phone call with Ukraine? -Why would I know? -Well, you said you were
the whistleblower. -I am. I’m the whistleblower for the Royal Oaks
community garden scandal. -Well, then, you know, respectfully,
I’d like to wrap this up. I only want to talk with you
if you have dirt for me. -Oh, that’s exactly
what my cousin who works at the White House told me Trump said
on the Ukraine call. Speaking of sneaky phone calls,
when Megan dated Arthur — -Wait, wait, wait. Wait.
What did you say?! -My cousin
works for President Trump and listens to all his phone —
-No, no, no, no, no. Did you say Megan? As in the person
who decided the flower king? -Yes.
-Megan used to date Arthur? Who she named the winner? -For two whole years. -That is messed up!
-I know! -I mean, that is corrupt
to its core! -I’ve been saying! -I can’t believe no one else
said anything. What can we do about it?
Should we start a petition? What about a protest?
-Yes. I made a shirt! “Suck a tulip, Megan.” -This is big.

Comments (62)

  1. I love her. Greets from Germany!

  2. Suck a tulip megan.

  3. wtf did I just watch, Seth? XD

  4. Lol amber. I can totally see amber doing this is her later years.

  5. Lol, this was adorably hilarious! Local "down home" scandals.

  6. Aaaah, golden, what would we do without satirical comic relief.

  7. I’m not used to see her in that wig.

  8. Annnnnnd Amber flashing her 'Suck a Tulip, Megan!' is now the wife's new home screen.

  9. I'm the whistleblower, and so's my wife.

  10. Again, Megan? Seriously…

  11. Oh, just give Amber her own show and have done with it, ffs. If Larry Wilmore deserved it, Ruffin sure does.

  12. Suck a tulip Megan 😭

  13. Seth : This… has been…
    Outro music : Enough alrady!

  14. The whistle blower is Ben Carson

  15. I was kinda hoping she forgot the tshirt….I'll see myself out now

  16. I love Amber but this didn't make me even smile.

  17. Oh my god! The end totally did it for me “what did you say?” 😂🤣😂

  18. Why hasn't Megan gotten any roles in any TV shows or movies yet? Seth was in Journey to the Center of the Earth remake.

  19. I have good news to everyone who has been saying that Amber deserves her own show. She is getting her own show on the new Apple service.

  20. Amber can do anything!

  21. I want to Impregnate and BREED her!!!!!!!

  22. Good Lord…what is wrong with this studio audience?
    This was one of the most brilliant pieces of comedy I've ever seen from Seth Meyers and the LNSM writers.
    Amber's portrayal of the jealous and vindictive socialite gardener gossip who's generally clueless is incredible and Seth's timing when he transitions from only wanting to hear about Trump to "Did you say Megan? Used to date *Arthur*?" was as close to flawless as I've seen.
    At the end of that joke's 180-degree journey, the crowd was silent while they should have been uproarious.
    And then they laughed at the T-shirt (which I will concede is a funny prop gag to tack on the end of the bit) just because it says "Suck a Tukip."
    …Oh, I worry about us as Americans sometimes.

  23. I'm so happy for even more Amber

  24. You always keep me laughing! Thanks!!!!!!!!!

  25. This turned out to be way funnier than I expected

  26. Amber is the best part of the show and needs her own show…or to take over Seth's job

  27. I've said it before and I'll say it again. And I'll even stand by it this time! I love Amber Ruffin, she's the best.

  28. This segment reminded me of "Morning Joe"…you know, when the crowd in the stadium booed tRump, and Joe thought that would be "unAmerican".

    Good old Joe Scaresborough(!) was right: why keep staying focused on the real scandal(s), if you can go after a nothingburger of a scandal, instead?

    Apparently, that's how US news operate.

  29. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👍👏👏👏👏👏👍👍👏👏👏👏👏👍👍👍

  30. Why am I starting to love when black girls play white girls? They are so funny…

  31. I heard that Amber Ruffin is hysterical!

  32. Amber Ruffin makes hillarious characters!

  33. She looks like Amber. Are they related?

  34. Not going to lie, I got very excited for a second there. Well played, Amber!

    Someday…

  35. Amber is so underrated. She is a god damn American Hero.

  36. The Florida Man Siren, and the small town HOA scandal. These bits are so silly, it's hilarious. How much has Seth's team been smoking?

  37. She's beautiful in that hairdo 😀

  38. I seriously want that shirt 😂

  39. Tulip joke you want to say could be misogyny, keep it to yourself. I know, I know.

  40. Fred Julian Assange

  41. Fantastic use of the “wait a minute go back” joke set up

  42. This is the funniest skit I’ve seen in a while 😭

  43. This is so funny! LOL

  44. She looks a lot like seth’s writer.

  45. 02:20 – cute, but not not that cute.

  46. I love this woman. I'd be down with watching a show of her own

  47. Not to be overdramatic, but I would die for you, Amber!

  48. Suck a tulip, indeed! 😉

  49. amber's the best! :3

  50. I'm crushing on Amber

  51. Aaaammmmbbbbeeeerrrr!

  52. The reason t'rump hates whistleblowers is probably because Ivanka has refused to blow his whistle for all these years.
    😄😆😅

  53. I thought for a moment I was watching SNL!

  54. You guys are crazy and funny 😂🤣😆😂🤣😍👍!

  55. surrealism is good for the soul, it breaks the boundaries of the every day and reawakens the mind to see clearer, Mildred Mildew. is what girls call each other when one of them is Stanky

  56. What the hell just happened? That is easily the most surreal Seth has done on his own show. That was a Monte Python level non sequitur. Bravo sir. Bravo.

  57. Amber for President 2020!!!!!!!!

  58. Hilarious! Did me good

  59. Seth boss, love the vlog. Very smart. All love and good vibes from Cali 🇺🇸

Comment here