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The power of vulnerability | Brené Brown | TEDxHouston

The power of vulnerability | Brené Brown | TEDxHouston


Translator: Reiko Bovee So, I’ll start with this. A couple of years ago,
an event planner called me because I was going
to do a speaking event, and she called and said: “I’m really struggling with how to write
about you on the little flyer.” I thought, “Well, what’s the struggle?” and she said: “Well, I saw you speak, and I am going to call you
a researcher, I think, but I’m afraid if I call you
a researcher, no one will come because they’ll think you’re
boring and irrelevant.” (Laughter) And I was like “OK.” She said: “But the thing
I liked about your talk is that you’re a storyteller. So I think what I’ll do
is call you a storyteller.” And of course the academic,
insecure part of me was like, “You’re going to call me a what?”
(Laughter) And she said: “I’m going
to call you a storyteller.” And I was like, “Oh, why not
magic pixie?” (Laughter) I was like: “Let me think
about this for a second.” And so, I tried to call deep on my courage and I thought, “You know, I am a storyteller.
I’m a qualitative researcher. I collect stories; that’s what I do. Maybe stories are just data with a soul,
and maybe I’m just a storyteller.” So I said: “You know what? Why don’t you just say
I’m a researcher storyteller.” And she went, “Ha ha!
There’s no such a thing.” (Laughter) So I’m a researcher storyteller,
and I’m going to talk to you today – we’re talking about
expanding perception – and so I want to talk to you
and tell you some stories about a piece of my research
that fundamentally expanded my perception and really actually changed the way
that I live, love, work, and parent. And this is where my story starts. When I was a young researcher,
a doctoral student, my first year I had a research professor who, on one of his first days
of class, he said to us: “Here’s the thing. If you cannot
measure it, it doesn’t exist.” And I thought he was
just sweet-talking me, I was like, “Really?”
And he was like, “Absolutely.” And so you have to understand
that I have a bachelor’s in Social Work, a Master’s in Social Work,
and I was getting my PhD in Social Work, so my entire academic career
was surrounded by people who kind of believed in the
“Life is messy; love it.” And I’m more of the “Life’s messy,
clean it up,” (Laughter) organize it, and put it into a bento box.” (Laughter) And so to think I had found my way,
to found a career that takes me – really one of the big sayings
in social work is “Lean into the discomfort of the work,” and I’m like, knock
discomfort upside the head and move it over and get all As.
(Laughter) That was my mantra. So I was very excited about this. And so I thought,
this is the career for me, because I am interested
in some messy topics but I want to be able
to make them not messy. I want to understand them. I want to hack into these things
that I know are important and lay the code out for everyone to see. So where I started was with connection. Because by the time
you’re a social worker for ten years, what you realize is
that connection is why we’re here. It’s what gives purpose
and meaning to our lives. This is what it’s all about. It doesn’t matter whether you talk
to people who work in social justice and mental health and abuse and neglect. What we know is that connection,
the ability to feel connected is neurobiologically
that’s how we’re wired. It’s why we are here. So I thought, “You know what.
I’m going to start with connection.” Well, you know that situation where you get an evaluation
from your boss. And she tells you 37 things
that you do really awesome and one thing that you kind of you know,
an “opportunity for growth?” (Laughter) And all you can think about
is that “opportunity for growth,” right? Well, apparently this is the way
my work went as well. Because when you ask people about love
they tell you about heartbreak. When you ask them about belonging, they’ll tell you about their
most excruciating experiences of being excluded. And when you ask people about connection, the stories they told me
were about disconnection. So very quickly about six weeks
into this research, I ran into this unnamed thing
that absolutely unraveled connection. In a way that I didn’t understand
or had never seen. And so I pulled back
out of the research and thought: “I need to figure out what this is.” And it turned out to be shame. And “shame” is really easily understood as the fear of disconnection. Is there’s something about me
that if other people know it or see it, that I won’t be worthy of connection? The things I can tell you about it is:
it’s universal, we all have it. The only people who don’t experience shame have no capacity for human empathy
or connection. No one wants to talk about it, and the less you talk about it
the more you have it. What underpinned this shame, this “I’m not good enough,”
which we all know that feeling, that “I’m not blank enough,
I’m not thin enough, rich enough, beautiful enough,
smart enough, promoted enough.” The thing that underpinned us
was this excruciating vulnerability. This idea of “In order
for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves
to be seen, really seen.” And you know how I feel
about vulnerability, I hate vulnerability. And so I thought, this is my chance
to beat it back with my measuring stick. I’m going in;
I’m going to figure this stuff out; I am going to spend a year;
I’m going to totally deconstruct shame; I’m going to understand
how vulnerability works; I’m going to outsmart it. So I was ready and I was really excited! As you know
it’s not going to turn out well. (Laughter) You know this. I could tell you a lot about shame, but I’d have to borrow
everyone else’s time. But here’s what I can tell you
it boils down to. This may be one of the most
important things I’ve learned in the decade of doing this research. My one year turned into six years. Thousands of stories, hundreds
of long interviews, focus groups. At one point, people were
sending me their journal pages, sending me their stories,
thousands of pieces of data in six years. And I kind of got a handle on it, I kind of understood
this is what shame is, and how it works. I wrote a book, I published a theory
but something was not okay. And what it was, is that if I roughly took
the people I interviewed, and divided them into people
who really have a sense of worthiness – that is what this comes down,
a sense of worthiness – they have a strong sense
of love and belonging. And the folks who struggle for it, the folks who are always wondering
if they’re good enough. There was only one variable
that separated the people who had a strong sense of love
and belonging, and really struggle for it: That was the people who have
a strong sense of love and belonging, believe that they are worthy
of love and belonging. That’s it. They believe they’re worthy. And to me, the hard part of the one thing
that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we’re not
worthy of connection was something
that personally and professionally I feel like I needed to understand better. So what I did is I took
all of the interviews, where I saw worthiness, where I saw people living that way,
and just looked at those. What did these people have in common? I have a slight office supply
addiction but that’s another talk. (Laughter) So I had a manila folder and a sharpie, I was like, “What am I going
to call this research?” And the first words that came
to my mind were “wholehearted.” These are kind of wholehearted people
living from this deep sense of worthiness. I wrote at the top of the manila folder,
and I started looking at the data. In fact, I did it first in a four-day
very intensive data analysis, where I went back
and I pulled all these interviews, pulled the stories
and pulled the incidents. “What’s the theme? What’s the pattern?” My husband left town with the kids
(Laughter) because I was kind of going into
this Jackson Pollock crazy thing. Where I’m just writing
and just in my researcher mode. And so here’s what I found. What they had in common
was a sense of courage. And I want to separate courage
and bravery for you for a minute. Courage, the original
definition of courage when it first came
into the English language, – it’s from the Latin word,
cor, meaning heart – the original definition
was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. And so these folks, very simply,
had the courage to be imperfect. They had the compassion
to be kind to themselves first and then to others, and as it turns out we can’t practice compassion
with other people if we can’t treat ourselves kindly. And the last was they had connection – and this was the hard part – as a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go
of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely
do that for connection. The other thing
that they had in common was this: They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them
vulnerable made them beautiful. They didn’t talk about vulnerability
being comfortable nor did they talk about it
being excruciating as I had heard earlier
in the shame interviewing. They just talked about it being necessary. They talked about the willingness
to say “I love you” first. The willingness to do something
where there are no guarantees. The willingness to breathe through waiting for the doctor to call
after your mammogram. They’re willing to invest
in a relationship that may or may not work out. They thought this was fundamental. I personally thought it was betrayal. I could not believe I had pledged
allegiance to research, where our job – the definition of research
is to control and predict, to study phenomena for the explicit reason
to control and predict. And now my mission to control
and predict had turned up the answer that the way to live
is with vulnerability. And to stop controlling and predicting. This led to a little breakdown. (Laughter) which actually looked more like this :
[breakdown. spiritual awakening] (Laughter) And it did. And it led to what I called a breakdown, and my therapist called
a “spiritual awakening.” (Laughter) Spiritual awakening sounds better,
but I assure you it was a breakdown. I had to put my data away
and go find a therapist. And let me tell you something,
you know who you are when you call you friends and say,
“I think I need to see somebody. Do you have any recommendations?” Because about five
of my friends were like, “Woooh, I wouldn’t want
to be your therapist.” (Laughter) I was like, “What does that mean?” And they’re like,
“I’m just saying, you know. Don’t bring your measuring stick!” (Laughter) I was like, “Okay”. And so I found a therapist. And in my first meeting with her, Diana, I brought in my list
of the way wholehearted live. And she sat down and said, “How are you?” And I said, “I’m great. I’m okay.” And she said, “Well what’s going on?” And this is a therapist
who sees therapists, because we have to go to those
because their BS meters are good. (Laughter) And so I said, “Here’s the thing,
I’m struggling.” And she said, “What’s the struggle?” And I said,
“I have a vulnerability issue. And I know that vulnerability
is kind of the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness
but it appears that it’s also the birthplace of joy,
creativity, belonging, love, and I think I have a problem,
and I need some help.” I said, “Here’s the thing,
no family stuff, no childhood shit, I just need some strategies.” (Laughter) (Applause) Thank you. So she goes like this. (Laughter) Then, I said, “It’s bad right?” And she said, “It’s neither good nor bad. (Laughter) It just is what it is.” And I said, “Oh my God,
this is going to suck!” (Laughter) And it did and it didn’t. And it took about a year. And you know how there are people that, when they realize that vulnerability
and tenderness are important that they kind of surrender
and walk into it: A) That’s not me. B) I don’t even hang out
with people like that. (Laughter) For me it was a yearlong street fight.
(Laughter) It was a slugfest.
Vulnerability pushed, I pushed back. I lost the fight
but I probably won my life back. Then I went back into the research
and spend the next couple of years really trying to understand
what they, the whole-hearted, and what choices they were making
and what we are doing with vulnerability. Why do we struggle with it so much? Am I alone in struggling
with vulnerability? No. So this is what I learned. We numb vulnerability. When we’re waiting for the call – It’s funny, I guess, on Wednesday
I sent something on Twitter and Facebook, “How would you define vulnerability
and what makes you feel vulnerable?” and within an hour and a half
I had 150 responses. I wanted to know what’s out there. “Having to ask my husband for help
because I’m sick and we’re newly married.” “Initiating sex with my husband.” “Initiating sex with my wife.” “Being turned down.”
“Asking someone out.” “Waiting for the doctor to call back.” “Getting laid off.” “Laying off people.” This is the world we live in. We live in a vulnerable world. And one of the ways we deal with it
is we numb vulnerability. And I think there’s evidence,
and it’s not the only reason this evidence exists
but it’s a huge cause. We are the most in debt, obese, addicted, and medicated adult cohort
in U.S. history. The problem is –
and I learned this from the research – is that you cannot
selectively numb emotion. You can’t say,
“Here’s the bad stuff. Here’s vulnerability,
here’s grief, here’s shame, here’s fear, here’s disappointment.
I don’t want to feel these. I am going to have a couple of beers
and a banana nut muffin.” (Laughter) I don’t want to feel these! And I know that’s knowing laughter, I hack into your lives for a living.
That’s “Haha, God!” (Laughter) You can’t numb those hard feelings without numbing
the other affects, or emotions. You cannot selectively numb. So when you numb those, we numb joy; we numb gratitude;
we numb happiness. And then, we are miserable,
and looking for purpose and meaning, and then we feel vulnerable, and so we have a couple of beers
and a banana nut muffin. And it becomes this dangerous cycle. One of the things that I think we need
to think about is why and how we numb, and it doesn’t just have to be addiction. The other thing we do is make
everything that’s uncertain certain. Religion has gone from a belief
in faith and mystery to certainty. “I’m right, you’re wrong. Shut up.” That’s it. Just certain. The more afraid we are,
the more vulnerable we are, the more afraid we are. This is what politics looks like today, There’s no discourse any more;
there’s no conversation. There’s just blame. You know how blame
is described in the research? “A way to discharge pain and discomfort.” We perfect. Now let me tell you, if there’s anyone who wants
to have their life look like this, it would be me. But it doesn’t work. Because we take fat from our butts
and put it into our cheeks. (Laughter) Which doesn’t work! I hope in a hundred years
people will look back and go, “Wow!” (Laughter) And we perfect,
most dangerously, our children. Let me tell you very quickly
what we think about children. They’re hardwired for struggle
when they get here. When you hold those perfect little babies
in your hands, our job is not to say, “Look at them, look at her,
she is perfect. My job is just to keep her perfect, and make sure she makes
the tennis team by 5th grade and Yale by 7th grade.” That’s not our job,
our job is to look and say, “You’re imperfect
and hard-wired for struggle, but you are worthy
of love and belonging.” That’s our job. Show me
a generation of kids raised like that, and we’ll end the problems
that we see today. We pretend that what we do
doesn’t have an effect on people. We do that in our personal lives,
we do that corporate whether it’s a bail out
or an oil spill, or a recall. We pretend like, what we’re doing doesn’t have
a huge impact on other people. I would say to companies,
“This isn’t our first rodeo, people.” We just need you to be authentic
and real and say, “We’re sorry; we’ll fix it.” But there’s another way,
and I’ll leave you with this. This is what I’ve found: to let ourselves be seen,
deeply seen, vulnerably seen. To love with our whole hearts
even though there’s no guarantee. And that’s really hard, I can tell you as a parent,
that’s excruciatingly difficult. To practice gratitude and joy in those moments of terror
when we’re wondering, “Can I love you this much?
Can I believe in this as passionately? Can I be this fierce about this?” Just to be able to stop and instead of catastrophizing
about what might happen, to say, “I’m just so grateful. Because to feel this vulnerable
means I’m alive.” And the last, which I think
is probably the most important, is to believe that we’re enough. Because when we work from a place
that says, “I’m enough,” then we stop screaming,
and we start listening. We’re kinder and gentler
to the people around us, and we’re kinder and gentler to ourselves. That’s all I have. Thank you. (Applause)

Comments (97)

  1. Cool video, will watch more of your videos.

  2. Hedgehog's Dilemma

  3.    Never mind the words, carefully listen to her voice, in certain registers, inflection points its melodious….. 

  4. thank you for this. quite challenging… being vulnerable… but it's the path to whole-hardheartedness. thank you dr.brown 🙂

  5. i have the book and it's amazing

  6. Thank you ur research and advice in many ways reflects my own intuitions! im glad i have them and this just reminded me to always go with my gut feelings. 

  7. I really enjoyed listening to this worth while lecture from the outset of the day and that made me go into the rest of it with so much more ease <3

  8. Wow, here I am looking for a good video in authenticity in Social Work (for my students) and I found myself watching, and listening to this woman who is describing my struggle. I am a story teller who is afraid of writing the stories because I am not sure about the "worthiness" of it. Specifically, the story of First Generations Puerto Rican women coming to the USA. Who cares for these stories? Anyway, the relationship between the sense of belonging, vulnerability and worthiness is very real.

  9. The way she speaks makes you feel like she's having a conversation with you one on one. Very enjoyable. 

  10. …….I'm eating a banana nut muffin right now…..

  11. Dr. brown your always a joy to see and hear plus a great healer keep up the good work we sure need it in these times. Thank you.  

  12. The best advice to Live from!

  13. I could listen to her talk for hours ! She is such a great speaker.

  14. Love this woman and her wonderful books. The Gifts of Imperfection is brilliant.

  15. amazing speech! but doesn't she look like skylar? hehe

  16. Sharing this everywhere!

  17. She seems a wee bit inseecure

  18. I am the person that LOVES ALL my emotions.  I wallow AND Celebrate….I like the highs and the lows and I can tell you that MOST people think I'm crazy – when I tell them to 'embrace, the sorrow' and "THAT is LIFE happening in your life"…I think that we do not want to feel and I cannot figure out WHY.  Thank you for a little bit of clarity. I give (as a gift) your TED talk to my friends. When they need it.

  19. I fine this information very real. The thoughts presented here should be shared on a massive scale for the betterment of all. Thank you Dr. Brown for your outstanding authenticity and personal vulnerability, you should know you are appreciated greatly!

  20. "You know what, you're imperfect and you're wired for struggle, but you're worthy of Love and Belonging." -Dr Brene Brown

  21. How can we be vulnerable, yet not give our power (personal) away?

  22. The "no family stuff, no childhood sh!t" comment was great. I've said those same exact words before. Great talk. I can't wait to share this with my husband. Thank you.

  23. sounds good.. now to actually apply the concepts!

  24. This is a hard concept that I struggle with constantly.  It is worth the time it takes to watch it!

  25. You know Brene I saw magic happen infront of my eyes when I followed you in living with wholeheart.I think not a single day passes without I questioning my worthiness, and after I stumbled upon you it became my textbook for life I cannot imagine living without it(again I might be afraid of being vulnerable without you).

  26. OMG! She just said Sh!t! first time ever hearing her cuss.. ahahaha She's so awesome!

  27. In recovery forever from substance abuse, working on the newly morphed addictions, I found this talk about shame and its opposite to be a beautiful gift. I took some notes and share them  in case they will be helpful.  *Whole-heartedly recommend.* NOTES:  After six years and 1000s of interviews, Dr. Brené Brown deconstructs shame and its opposite, vulnerable, wholehearted worthiness. 8:48:  "*Worthiness* = the courage to be imperfect. *Courage* = tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.  Whole-hearted people have the compassion to be kind to themselves first then to others.  They have connection as a result of authenticity.  They are willing to let go of what they think they should be (and you have to do that for connection).  They fully embrace vulnerability.  *They believe that what makes them vulnerable also makes them beautiful.*  They don't call vulnerability "being comfortable" or "excruciating" but merely "necessary."  *Vulnerability* = The willingness to say "I love you" first.  To do something where there are no guarantees.  To breathe through fear. To invest in a relationship that may or may not work out.  (12:35) BREAKDOWN = spiritual awakening.  (12:45) "I know that *vulnerability* is the core of shame, fear, of our struggle for worthiness.  It appears it is also the birthplace of joy, of our creativity, of belonging, of love…"  The *whole-hearted* do not have shame.  They embrace both sides of vulnerability.  Most of us *numb* vulnerability.  (When we no longer numb, we are faced with all that we can no longer cover or control.)  (16:04) "You cannot selectively numb emotion…so you numb everything."  We also numb joy, gratitude, connection.  (17:33) We make the uncertain certain.  "*Blame* = a way to discharge shame and discomfort.  (18:53) We *pretend* what we do doesn't impact others. (19:30) Let ourselves be seen, love with our whole hearts even when there's no guarantee, practice gratitude and joy even in moments of terror and extreme vulnerability and let us *believe* we are enough.  Then we stop screaming and start listening.

  28. The words of this woman has helped me constantly through my three years of depression. I know her words will help me again in the future. Keep this video in your watch later; it will always help.

  29. One of my favorite TED talks.

  30. THATS ALL YOU NEEDED! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

  31. So important and revealing. Thank you Brene Brown for speaking the truth.

  32. I absolutely loved what she had to say. It hits home and puts a lot into perspective. It's a hard reality, and how I am supposed to move forward from here will be difficult. As parents, we cannot be over protective, otherwise our children cannot learn how to deal with negative emotions.

  33. all in all you're just another brick in the wall

  34. Brene's timing is always perfect. As a mentor I am always balancing what I can share with those who I am helping and what I need. Embracing vulnerability is powerful and necessary to grow. We are beautiful hot messes!

  35. 12:46 > "I know that vulnerability is kind of the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness – but it appears it's also the birthplace of joy of creativity of belonging of love – and I, I think, I have a problem -, and, I just, I need some help, and I said, but here's the thing, no family stuff, no childhood shit, I just – I just need some strategies!"
    Brilliant – let me cut and paste that one…

  36. I laughed maybe once. The sense of humor here is odd

  37. One of the best TED talks I have ever seen.

  38. it doesn't bother me anymore🙌

  39. I am listening to this talk. I notice the word "autistic" doesn't appear in the comments yet. Life for an autistic person isn't always about connection, at least, a lot of meaning is found without connection being in mind. Often one is connecting with people that are now dead, or talking to people who have yet to be born (I have the example of classical music in mind, where composers achieve fame only after they've died.) Of course, connection is what life's about, when you eventually realise it, but life can be meaningfully lived without it. Another example I could give would be performance, where connection isn't fully two-way, and the performer can be performing essentially for themselves, with the audience looking on, absorbing it.

  40. Just watched this again…..Blessed my sox off and I wasn't wearing any….

  41. Just revisited this and so appreciate Berne Brown for leveling the playing field for all us humans.

  42. Great job! I've got to the same conclusion after healing myself from depression. As you said, when we shut ourselves down refusing to be vulnerable and "seen" by others, we also shut our source of joy at the same time. I think we, as human beings, are obsessed with a sense of perfection which doesn't exist – despite being widely advertised -. We think we can improve Nature by controlling Her but are not humble enough to admit that our Nature is perfect and that the only imperfection is in our failure to understand that what we perceive as chaos or "imperfection" is a mere comparison that our mind makes between what is real and what we ought to be real and acceptable according to cultural or religious standards. I think it's time to change that and we shouldn't just love our children, we should also be completely honest with them because we are all imperfect (from a human point of view) and that's the beauty of existence itself!

  43. I love you Brene, your work and words speak to my soul. I am working on my courage to be vulnerable after a lifetime of feeling not good enough. thank you for speaking up about this x

  44. Thank you Ze Frank for showing me this.

  45. Great ! Empowering and inspirational 👍

  46. The topic is great but this talk could be so much better without all this ego-centered "ME ME ME"

  47. This is the first time in history that we have lots of junk food advertised to us, advanced medicine advertised to us, and credit cards advertised to us. I think if those things were advertised to any culture the way they are advertised to us, they would also be in debt, fat, and addicted. England is catching up to us.  The advertisers know our vulnerabilities and exploit them. I'd like to see a talk on that- how advertisers use our vulnerability and shame to tempt us.

  48. I can't believe this is from 2010! It is so perfectly true today.

  49. Thank you so much, I needed to hear this!

  50. Wonderful. And essential.

  51. Excellent speaker.

  52. Dr. Brown sharing her own vulnerability is what kept me watching. The authentic teachers are the ones who open up to let others see that they understand because they have been in the same place. That creates connection because of the commonality. She doesn't come across as trying to "fix us", but rather as showing us through her own experiences what really works.

  53. This is amazing. Great speaker, research and insights! Those who disliked it are simply in denial or something. 🙈

  54. Great talk and she is a brilliant story teller. I gained so much from this short talk, really helpful

  55. Woulda Shoulda Coulda

  56. To be vulnerable in a society of wolves what do u think will happen to u?? We live in world of inhumanity,injustice and cruelty we have no space for vulnerability

  57. What a good soul and joyfull

  58. Let ourselves be seen… 💚

  59. I was disappointed that you crossed out "breakdown" and replaced it with "spiritual awakening" because I have watched this video many times and have never seen this before. It's like it was ironic because you were talking vulnerability and yet you weren't being vulnerable. So, from all us who are vulnerable, the whole hearted and have had breakdowns, I give you permission to be vulnerable.

  60. Thank you for what you do!

  61. She is such a teacher that every time she speaks she is also a student herself.

  62. Great speech from a funny woman !

  63. Brené is AMAZING!!!!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  64. An enlightning and important talk.

  65. You're amazing!!!

  66. waiting for the other shoe to drop because I know what it's like to put my heart out there, and then later for things to change

  67. Thank you! Very informative and inspiring!

  68. Everybody needs a friend like her in their life.

  69. I think that the REAL CONNECTION is the connection with yourself. All other connection are based in the connection with yourself. As far as connection with other people are concerned, that is an OPTION. For some people it works and that's great and for some people it doesn't really make for a very pleasant or fulfilling life. You have to face the facts of what works for you, not someone else.

  70. At 18:40 she says it's our job to raise kids with a sense of "love and belonging" and says if we raise a generation of kids like that we'll magically solve all the world's problems. HOWEVER, she fails to address just how UNLOVING society is toward White males right now. Today's society makes White men, young and old alike, feel unloved and like they don't belong.

    I say end the anti-white hatred, then you might see a world where everyone feels loved and like like they belong. White people are people too, whether you anti-white liberal tyrants like it or not.

  71. But what if some people are not social, does this reasoning still fully apply? Everyone is different, what works for some, won't for others.

  72. There was an article today on the Texas Monthly website – about her speaking at SXSW – March, 2019 of this year. It reminded me of this old video. The first time I saw Brene Brown was at the very first TEDxHouston – at the U of H, in June, 2010. I was still mourning the loss of our son the previous Valentine's Day. It was a deeply moving experience, and it helped ease my pain.

  73. This was the deepest form all Tedx talk wowzer!

  74. This could not have come into my life at the most APPROPRIATE and perfect time!!! Thank you thank you ! Literally life altering !!

  75. That was nine years ago and it still feels like cutting edge clarity on something that underpins everything we do and are. Brilliant.

  76. ah one of the most amazing speeches ever thx Dr. Brown ❤️❤️❤️

  77. What an eye opening speech. I'm so happy to look at and listen to some type of resolution for inner strength.

  78. 17:13 "Religion has gone from a belief of faith and mystery to certainty. I'm right you're wrong, shut up."

    "Blame a way to discharge pain and discomfort."

  79. You can just sense she is a genuinely lovely person. Would love her as a friend.

  80. This is one of my top 5 favourite talks I go back to again and again

  81. This skeptic just had a chord struck right at the end of this talk.

  82. "I call it a breakdown; my therapist calls it a spiritual awakening." -Dr Brené Brown … oh how accurate that is

  83. Brene, I read your books and saw your Netflix special, and just barely coming back to see this original Ted Talk you did. I know you don't read the comments because everyone knows it's a recipe for disaster, but I still have to tell you that you changed my life. Your book Daring Greatly opened the door for me to understand a lot of things about myself, and I will be forever grateful to you for your openness, vulnerability and willingness to be real and raw.

  84. Being vulnerable is being weak –

  85. Brene, I dont know why you feel this talk was a disaster. How? Why? YOU let yourself be vulnerable here, which means you practice what you preach, that says so much about you! I have only JUST discovered you and i cant wait to listen to ALL your talks (you had me at the Netflix one! That is how i heard about you!) and to read all your books. YOU ARE ENOUGH AND YOU ARE SPECIAL BRENE BROWN!

  86. Great video! Thanks for sharing….

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