Dear Director- Our laws are not designed to outline every possible infraction that may take place, However, the spirit of the law is clear- blatant disregard for the safety and well-being of our citizens in any form, will always be a punishable offense. Regardless of how well, or by whom
that offense has been justified. Simmons: Here they come! Sarge: Simmons, what’re you waiting for? SHOOT ‘EM! Simmons: I can’t! This stupid gun is jammed! Sarge: Step on it, Grif! Grif: Yeah, no shit! Sarge: Whose idea was it to steal a jeep from these guys anyway? Washington: Gah, I knew this plan wouldn’t work! Church: We all knew this plan wouldn’t work. None of our plans ever work. Caboose: That’s why we carry guns. Washington: (mocking Sarge) We couldn’t get a car! No problem- we’re better with vehicles than the blues! Let US handle this! Washington: Why did I even listen to them? Church: I told you not to. Washington: Yeah, well, I already stopped listening to YOU three bases ago. Caboose: Well that’s not very– Washington: And I NEVER started listening to YOU. [Warthog gunfire] Sarge: Force them in to the wall. Grif: On it! Grif: Where’d they go!? Sarge: Did ya lose ’em? Grif: Looks like it. Sarge: What in Sam Hell? I don’t believe it. Grif: Well Sarge, I guess you owe me an apology. Turns out I’m not such a bad driver after- … …all. Aw come on, what the f***! Caboose: Aw man. That jeep has a really big gun. Church: Don’t get any ideas. Washington: *sigh* Well I guess I’d better get down there and save them. I’m really starting to hate this part of the job. Caboose: Well at least you’re getting a lot of practice at it. Washington: Don’t patronize me. Church: You know, if we let one or two of ’em die we could probably all squeeze in to one car. Just saying, you should think about it. Caboose: Oh, and if enough of us die, we can fit on a motorcycle! Church: Alright good, he’s gone. Caboose, you stay here, I’ll be right back. Caboose: You’re leaving? Church: Yeah. Church: For some reason
he doesn’t want me to see Tex’s body. I’m gonna go try to find her. Caboose: Um… Don-, don’t leave me here with your body. It stares at me, and I don’t like it. Church: You’ll be fine. Church’s body: *humming sound* Caboose: Stop it. Simmons: Got it! Grif: Great, you unjammed the gun? How ’bout you shoot ’em!? Sarge: Grif, just get us out of this! Grif: Hold on, I wanna try something. I think I can make this jump! Sarge: Are you insane? Grif: Yeah, f*** this, brakes! Uhuh, we’re really high. Simmons: Yeah, got him! Washington: You idiots! We needed that jeep! Grif: Uh yeah, and we needed not to die? What’s your point? Washington: There’s still six of us. Where’re we gonna get another vehicle? … Washington: …Oh. Grif: Hey, dude? In the future, don’t ask for shit. Looks like the Hornet’s gonna get ’em. Yeah. They blew up our jeep though. That kinda sucks. And they killed two of our friends, right? Oh yeah that too. Still I think – Heagurgurk! You okay? Church: Me? Yeah you. What was that noise? Church: I didn’t, hear any noise. It sounded like- Church: I sneezed. You sneezed. Church: Yeah, so anyway, I’m gonna go in the base now, gonna go do some patrolling in there. You know how it goes. Standard ops stuff. Okay seeya. What’re you talkin’ about, the CO said to stay out here. Make sure no-one gets in the base. Church: Oh it’s okay. I uh, I spoke to the Sargeant. He gave me special orders. Okay, yeah. Wait, you mean the Captain? Church: Huh? Yeah right. That guy. Whatever. Simmons: Run! Washington: Dammit. Caboose! What is Church doing? Caboose: Oh, uh, doing? Uh why nothing Agent Washington he’s just standing next to me watching you get killed by the giant spaceship. Oh really. Can you put him on then? Caboose: Oh, I don’t think so, um, we’re, we’re playing a game. Uh called, who can hold still the longest. Uhm, it’s a fun game we- … …I’m going to have to call you back.