ArticlesBlog How to Be More Assertive: 7 Tips November 1, 2019100 Related posts: Improve Your Social Skills in Under 30 Minutes, with Ramit Sethi Practical Strategies for Teaching Social Emotional Skills Issues in Social Skills & Sex Education (Chapter 2 of 7) 12 Ways To Improve Communication Skills Instantly Related tags : and assertive communication assertiveness training How to be assertive social skills speak up for yourself the The Distilled Man you Post navigation Previous Article 🙌 KONMARI METHOD BATHROOM DECLUTTER ORGANIZATION AND DEEP CLEAN | ULTIMATE CLEAN WITH ME Next Article Animal Welfare on the lookout for pets left out in the cold Comments (100) September 12, 2018 at 4:45 am Great video Reply September 12, 2018 at 3:21 pm Good vid Reply September 16, 2018 at 7:04 pm Now what can i do to people who cannot wait? They want their needs to be met right here right now. I end up feeling stressed and my bp goes up from being overwhelmed. If i talk back maybe they will report me to the boss…i mean i am a human not a machine! Reply September 17, 2018 at 3:40 pm As a teacher/instructor, being assertive can be one of the hardest things to do. Because you’re entire position is based on giving to students and letting them take (information, time, knowledge ect). Any tips for tough situations specifically pertaining to that position? Reply September 20, 2018 at 6:17 am Its very hard to be assertive when your too nice. You feel bad when your assertive, even though one shouldn't. Reply October 2, 2018 at 5:06 am This is an area that I'm growing in tremendously. Just a bit of advice for anyone else struggling with assertiveness, don't beat yourself over the head and get down and out over missing the mark. Because it takes time and patience to develop new habits, so a bit of oscillation is normal. But what I do when I know I should have been assertive is replay the event until I'm satisfied with a proper response that I should have said or did. So in the future, I'll be ready. Reply October 29, 2018 at 4:50 pm Assertive=Attraction+Attention+Attentiveness+Attitude+Confidence/Joy! Reply November 10, 2018 at 12:40 am Don't like. Too soft not assertive enough , to me… Reply November 15, 2018 at 7:39 pm I give a fuck about the ad get into he fucking video or I'd dislike Reply November 27, 2018 at 7:35 am He looks like Chris Pine and Leonardo DiCaprio Reply November 29, 2018 at 7:52 pm That policy one is really clever. If it sounds legit no one will question it. Reply December 6, 2018 at 7:04 am Enjoy listening to you talk, thanks for the vid Reply December 8, 2018 at 8:41 am Try just saying, "No," and don't explain yourself. People just don't seem to know what to do with that, and they'll be much less likely to try and take advantage of your kindness again. Reply December 14, 2018 at 1:21 am INTERESTING TALK AND GREAT DELIVERY. ENJOYED! Reply December 19, 2018 at 6:55 am Lol I came here because my astrological birth chart is dominant in Aries but I’m far from being assertive… thank you for this ✨ Reply December 19, 2018 at 8:16 am everyone shows their worse when you give them too much space Reply December 19, 2018 at 9:25 pm This is a great video, but I felt your face was uncomfortably close to the camera. Reply December 22, 2018 at 1:25 am first 1.50 is crap. Reply December 23, 2018 at 7:13 pm I'm not very assertive cause of reasons and coming out to my dad as trans I knew he'd say no your not Iso I pre planned the reply that he doesn't know my mind and it's really not him whose gonna suffer if I do nothing. Reply January 5, 2019 at 4:33 pm It is good to be assertive. We should speak up if we cannot do something. Otherwise other people will step all over us and we will suffer in silence. Reply January 11, 2019 at 1:09 pm Can you do a video on how to be assertive in the work place? Reply January 11, 2019 at 1:18 pm Can you do a video on being more assertive in the work place? Also thank I believe part of being a man is being assertive. Something I personally need more work on. Reply January 11, 2019 at 3:16 pm Thanks man! Reply January 19, 2019 at 7:49 pm Wow thanks I really did not realize I was making this mistake Reply January 20, 2019 at 10:27 am Fantastic video. Really helpful Reply January 25, 2019 at 11:22 pm I understand your point. You are trying to make the situation more positive in nature. Don't you know that we have already tried all the 48 power tools to win these situations and it didn't work. The construct of this world is not with the manner in mind. Everything is built from the powerful to the powerless. Look at the world, everything is arrogance in nature. We even invented nukes to level the field to manufacture morality. Don't you know we already failed time and time again! As long as the operating field is not leveled (greed, jealousy, evil, and deception) up the conflict continues. Don't forget the Machiavellianism. Reply January 26, 2019 at 2:05 pm Wow just discovered you. Loved this video…!!!I deffinetly need to work on keep my tone calmed. Ive done everything else but without being calmed it doesn't work at all. Reply January 29, 2019 at 2:26 am How to be assertive in a way that others don't think you are being aggressive? Reply February 4, 2019 at 5:29 am Very good. Thanks! Reply February 6, 2019 at 1:30 am Looks like an older Chris Pine Reply February 6, 2019 at 8:49 am I started a new job 6 months ago. I was bubbly, active, happy and energetic. My boss is always nagging at me but it's not what she says it's how she says it. We have 3 shops in different parts of the country. I'm doing my ultimate best and our manager dropped out 2 months ago and I was thrown into the deep end and with no training. My boss called me thick as in stupid and not to my face. She said it to one of the other employees in another shop. I had to hear this from someone in another shop and I couldn't fend my self. 😢 deeply hurt and upset. If I am smiling when the boss comes to the shop she says what the joke "come on what's the joke" . Nothing. I'm just smiling. But now I'm broke. Feel sick and nervous when the boss rings. I'm not sleeping. My head is reeling and I'm crying all the time. I love the job passionately but I'm weak and so broken. 😢😢😢 I have no one to turn to. Reply February 12, 2019 at 5:06 am Thank you great advice. Reply February 12, 2019 at 11:34 pm New subbie Reply February 21, 2019 at 8:19 pm This is interesting… I didn't really think I was assertive at all, but listening to these pointers I am actually pretty assertive – most of this learnt through dealing with customers naturally, I guess it is because it's really good for getting lots of experience with conversating. Reply February 23, 2019 at 11:23 pm Hey I was a woman watching your video and this should not be restricted to men only tips Reply February 27, 2019 at 10:28 am God I have never been a hoe and I will never be a hoe. I hate these people. I have no fucking Independence. I definitely mean to be rude and disrespectful, but am way too kind. Where am I??????? Am autistic and am not allowed to go anywhere meaningful. Reply February 27, 2019 at 7:36 pm My narcissistic mother brought me here… Reply March 2, 2019 at 12:42 pm Starts @ 1.50… Reply March 4, 2019 at 10:16 am I think im too straight forward and blunt that people don't even ask me to help. Help? Reply March 6, 2019 at 7:17 am Key to assertiveness is recognizing false modesty as an injustice to all whom you meet Reply March 6, 2019 at 8:47 pm I enjoyed your video. Reply March 8, 2019 at 12:42 pm Great video Reply March 11, 2019 at 9:14 pm Fantastic short, sharp techniques and examples. It helped me understand that assertiveness is not about being forceful, but by effectively communicate your needs and look atvwin/win situations to get what you ultimately want. Great! Reply March 19, 2019 at 12:17 am glad for this vid all the other ones are just"hOw tO bE AgReSsiVe"or dick things like that Reply March 20, 2019 at 11:56 am Needed this…..i'm too nice. Life is unfortunately making this out of me Reply March 21, 2019 at 12:44 pm Assertiveness is an excellent skill both for managing your relationship with others and managing your relationship with yourself. It is a key to better and quicker decision making and faster and more productive actions. When you are assertive, you are self-assured and draw power from this to get your point across firmly. It is not easy to become more assertive, but it is possible. Am I right? Reply March 24, 2019 at 5:34 pm Very good stuff. Reply March 27, 2019 at 8:39 am The dude is kinda boring Reply March 30, 2019 at 3:31 pm Talk much?? Reply April 1, 2019 at 6:31 pm So many minutes, so little content.. Reply April 2, 2019 at 5:30 am Great one, loved it thank you! Reply April 3, 2019 at 5:09 am Do you have any suggestions how to think faster? I often come up with the winning arguments 5 minutes late. Reply April 4, 2019 at 9:17 am I struggle with being assertive,people think of me as too nice and a push over. I feel like crap when I try to be assertive.One thing I have learnt is to have an calm equal toned voice.Don't start shouting,or cussing, as it gets you nowhere,and makes you feel even worse.And you lose out by not getting your point across Reply April 13, 2019 at 2:16 am I'VE BEEN ASSERTIVE SINCE I CAN REMEMBER, WHEN MY OLDER SISTERS WANTED ME TO DO CHORES, I WILL ANSWERED BACK WITH ASSURANCE, THAT I WILL DO ANYTHING THEY WANTED ME TO DO, IF ONLY MY MOTHER WILL AUTHORIZED IT. Reply April 13, 2019 at 11:38 pm This was a very inspiring and enjoyable video to watch! Points were well defined. Overall video was direct and and non offensive (just like the subject matter at hand). Reply April 21, 2019 at 8:46 pm So good looking my god Reply April 25, 2019 at 11:03 pm Helpful video! I’ve always struggled with being assertive and knowing my worth. Reply April 26, 2019 at 5:42 am Bunch of obvious reasons Reply April 26, 2019 at 6:14 am I'm afraid of retaliation. I stood up for myself at work and got the silent treatment and I'm afraid it could escalate Reply April 30, 2019 at 4:02 pm No matter how calmly you ask for a discount on something in a customer service interaction, unless they've really inconvenienced you, you're probably still being an asshole. Like there's almost never an excuse to ask for a discount on something just because you're buying it and don't like how much it costs, if the store/company didn't mislead you on price. Reply May 3, 2019 at 9:50 pm Thank you Reply May 6, 2019 at 8:32 pm Jesus Christ Reply May 10, 2019 at 7:51 pm Great vid Reply May 13, 2019 at 1:15 am useless Reply May 13, 2019 at 8:35 pm This is very helpful. I am trying to work on not being too nice and not being aggressive. May struggle is to not be verbally aggressive when I feel that someone has been deliberate and malicious in running over clearly stated boundaries. Reply June 3, 2019 at 3:27 am This is only for gentlemen? Not ladies too? 🙁 Reply June 11, 2019 at 2:34 am I use to be the type that always was a pushover and a "yes" person. To the point that I started realizing that people werent respecting me. You can be nice but still be assertive. I find that it all boils down to how you present yourself overall. If people feel they can get over on you, then they will. But if you from the beginning, come to the table meaning what you say then you will be taken seriously. Reply June 11, 2019 at 3:15 pm Thought this was Chris Pine for a second lol Reply June 16, 2019 at 10:19 am Thanks for the info. Though I feel like this video could have been 6 minutes. Reply June 17, 2019 at 12:55 am is no one gonna bring up the fact he unnecessarily directed this advice towards men? Reply June 19, 2019 at 7:20 pm My other big problem is that I know when to speak up but I just hate to break the beat of the music. Maybe the rest of the discussion isn't completely rotten, and I'd hate to rock the boat on one or two (very important) points. What do you do in those situations? Reply June 20, 2019 at 6:02 pm Genius!! Reply June 24, 2019 at 8:59 pm Is he wearing concealer?!😧 Reply July 3, 2019 at 6:34 am For me it's disrespectful mannerisms from people that gets me mad or bad etiquette Reply July 10, 2019 at 5:51 pm Love your approach in setting ground rules for the future while still remaining flexible, available, respectful and approachable. Great tips, cheers! Reply July 18, 2019 at 7:18 am Why did you end it "with thanks for watching "gentlemen" ? Reply July 22, 2019 at 3:31 am I have developed a policy of:1. Not letting people borrow my tools2. Not helping people move3. Not working on other peoples stuff Reply July 22, 2019 at 10:53 pm if ryan reynolds and chris pine had a kid Reply July 25, 2019 at 6:18 pm Gentleman? Reply July 26, 2019 at 7:35 am I was kind of assertive today (I think) and now I'm fighting the worst anxiety 😂😥 I was at the deli counter and there was no tickets being called so I had a bunch of people push Infront of me I just smiled and waited too anxious to say "hey I was here first!" Anyways I finally get called and this lady confronted me and said she was next…the worker stood up for me and said I was here for a while she demanded to see my ticket (they just started calling numbers as a large influx of customers had lined up) I firmly told her I had been standing there for quite a while and I was infact next…I felt proud for a second and now I feel terrible for not just being quiet and letting her go before me 😫😅 Reply August 3, 2019 at 5:31 am A coworker wouldn’t admit he’s going skiing. He’d call in sick instead. At least at my workplace. Then the coworker who gets hit with double the work can’t lay on the guilt trip or hold the colleague responsible for not giving enough notice. Reply August 11, 2019 at 2:11 pm At times he looks like Chris Pine. Reply August 21, 2019 at 8:25 am Good video but try not to be over theatrical. Reply September 3, 2019 at 10:25 am I really enjoyed this video but I am a little offended that you suggest it’s only for men Reply September 5, 2019 at 12:38 am Are you still commandeering the USS Enterprise? Reply September 6, 2019 at 3:20 am I can definitely relate to this situation because I have a hard time telling people no. Thanks for making this video! Reply September 9, 2019 at 5:39 am Great video, but it might help widen your viewership if you addressed your videos to everyone rather than just to men (11:07). Reply September 14, 2019 at 7:54 am I don’t know why this is only aimed at men! I’m a women and found it really helpful! Nice video 🙂 Reply September 18, 2019 at 9:36 pm those who thumbs down 94 times are a bunch of dumbasses. grow up morons. Reply September 25, 2019 at 6:46 pm How to be assertive?? Stop watching YouTube videos telling you how to be assertive… Reply September 30, 2019 at 10:37 am Please add more examples. Reply October 3, 2019 at 12:17 am are your elated to chris pine? Reply October 7, 2019 at 5:40 pm Very helpful video thank you Chris Pine 😉 Reply October 7, 2019 at 10:12 pm I'm a social bird and I thought I knew it, but, point #2#3#5 were all helpful. Thank you man. Reply October 9, 2019 at 1:49 pm All I do is think about other people’s needs Reply October 12, 2019 at 4:05 am I let others be assertive and respond to them with maddening passive aggression. Reply October 16, 2019 at 11:25 am Hi Kyle. You're an amazing human being if you can respond like that in most situations. 😊 My hero! Reply October 19, 2019 at 3:49 am This is wrong Reply October 20, 2019 at 8:52 am If you don't speak up you're screwed because you lose value and feel bad in the long run, if you do speak up you're screwed because you're difficult and people (both their allies and others) support and defend the person who stepped over your boundaries. Reply October 25, 2019 at 9:48 pm This is so important to me. It's not that I'm nice, it's that I'm too scared. I have some subconscious fears surrounding standing up for myself. Reply Comment here Cancel reply Comment Name * Email * Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.