David Holmes Testifies That US Diplomats Didn’t Want to Work with Rudy Giuliani

David Holmes Testifies That US Diplomats Didn’t Want to Work with Rudy Giuliani

-Let’s get to the news. Today was third and final day of this week’s public
impeachment hearings. “Finally!” said Devin Nunes,
only to find his car wouldn’t start, his
phone died, he had to walk home, and he couldn’t stop
stepping in buckets. [ Laughter ]
U.S. Embassy Staffer
David Holmes testified this morning
that U.S. diplomats did not wanna work
with Rudy Giuliani, with EU Ambassador
Gordon Sondland once saying, “Every time Rudy gets involved, he goes and effs everything up.” [ Laughter ]
It’s true. I mean, for example, here’s what New York City looked
like before Rudy was mayor. [ Laughter ] During last night’s debate,
Senator Amy Klobuchar touted her fundraising ability and claimed she set
an all-time Senate record by bringing in $17,000
from ex-boyfriends. [ Laughter ]
So, either she has one or two wealthy exes or… she freaky. [ Laughter, clapping ] Former Vice President
Joe Biden’s campaign sent out a fundraising
email yesterday, asking supporters to evaluate
his debate performance six hours before the debate
actually took place. Said Biden, “Damn, and with
the election next week!” [ Laughter, clapping ] Senator Cory Booker last night attacked former
Vice President Joe Biden for coming out
against marijuana legalization and said Biden’s opposition
was so ridiculous, “I thought you might’ve been
high when you said it.” [ Laughter ] Really? I mean, it’s hard
to accuse someone else of being high
when you’re polling at 1% and you start every sentence
with “When I’m president…” [ Laughter, clapping ] [laughing] Google is
rolling out a new feature for its Google Docs app that
will study users’ past writing to suggest personalized
sentence completions. Donald Trump tried it out
and the app killed itself. [ Laughter ] [ Cheering and applause ] Authorities in Florida
arrested a man on Tuesday who allegedly robbed a bank
while wearing a Make America Great Again
T-shirt. Said the police,
“Could you describe the man? I mean, other than he’s white. We know that.
We get that. [ Laughter ]
We know that already.” And, finally, the adult website
Pornhub announced today it will offers users
a $300 lifetime subscription on Black Friday. It’s the perfect gift
for that special someone who’s too dumb to find free porn on the Internet.
[ Laughter ]

Comments (72)

    smash all oppressions and build communities that are awesome and sustainable and inclusive.

  2. Joe Biden. What a doofus!

  3. Trumpty Dumpty
    Ruined our country

  4. Maybe these diplomats need to take over, imagine Fiona Hill as president! ☺️

  5. O great one SETH lol the city looked like the future before Guliani

  6. Last time I was this early, my wife was disappointed.

  7. That's not a revelation, is it?

  8. Elizabeth Warren 2020

  9. You know these senators work for you. The power has gone to their head. Corruption is rampant, and criminality pervasive.
    It almost like people need thier own army to keep them in check and pluck them out when it happens. Oh a militia you say, funny who would have thought that hehe.

    Edit: Jim is low lying fruit.

  10. Nunes + Lev = Suspicious AF

  11. Most Americans cant make an unexpected $400 payment, but all Americans can afford a $300 payment for a lifetime of premium access

  12. Wait a minute. There's free porn on the internet?

  13. Biden is right. Marijuana is a dead end habit.

  14. Rudy come out, time to testify.
    I meant announcing your heroic acts.

  15. There’s not just free porn on the internet.

    There’s free porn on PornHub.

  16. Is it just me, or did a lot of the jokes seem a bit too juvenile this time?

  17. Pornhub has a hell of a lot of free porn. And YouTube has even more free videos.
    A subscription service for each is similar.

  18. Sometimes i think.. seth should talk about something other than Trump and his supporters. Than i see video's of Trumptards behaviour and remember they deserve every ounce of Criticism they recieve

  19. Lets hope Chlobuchar's boyfriend's names were not Lev and Igor.

  20. Get used to 5 more years of idiocy, offencive language and isolationism of America. What about Ukraine, both Obama and Trump betrayed us.

  21. US politics is so much fun from afar – but dont be sad my american brothers and sisters.
    see it this way, trial and error..
    at least other countries see now that putting a baffoon in a leader position isnt quite working out, thats good no?
    brazil, uk, poland, … next pls

  22. Trump only hires the creme de la creme.
    The best people. (Bonus points if they have dementia.)

  23. Where can I find that closing music

  24. 0:50 what did he say? …she breeky?

  25. If America is so great? Why is he robbing a bank?

  26. Fiona Hill puts all the GOP to shame

  27. GOP Rep Stewart asked Holmes a question about him not being discreet relaying his knowledge of Sondland's call to Trump, to other government officials, Holmes said "Sondland was the one not being discreet making a call while in a public place." Stewart cut him off cause he couldn't handle the truth. All HELL broke loose from there.

  28. Back on form with the Biden hating, I see. Good for you. The Eric jokes have been usurped by Colbert anyway.

  29. It was actually $17001. When asked which mean ex give her $1 she replied, "They all did".

  30. Didn’t get the Nunes joke. Sounds like the audience didn’t either.

  31. Biden is not the man. Biden will give Trump another 4 years.

  32. Be intellectually honest for once in ur life: you know damn well how NYc looked before Guiliani; I don't care if it's just for yuks

  33. You are so funny Seth…..time to Impeach trump now! Christmas is coming early this year, trump is the worst "president" ever the sooner he is gone from the White House and into the Big House will be the best day ever….Impeach Indict Jail trump! SAVE OUR COUNTRY AND THE REST OF THE WORLD FROM trump and the cowardly gop thugs!

  34. Hey pornhub VR content isn't free for HD content or QHD content xD

  35. The "He must be high with this stance on Marihuana" joke stemmed from YT-anchor Cenk Uigur – so Cory or his staff watch the young turks and are not above stealing a good joke.
    Fun, fun, fun.

  36. whats amusing about the free porn comment, is that sites like Pornhub are doing all they can to shut down free porn websites because it cuts into their profits and usually claim they contain pirated content.

  37. So Google will be plagiarizing me for me? What's the point?

  38. Where is Nosferatu (aka Rudy Giuliani) why isn't out putting his face all over the televised media. If you happen to be a liberal and Italian please take him on a boat ride to the lake, LOL
    running his mouth

  39. Nixon : I'm not a Crook!
    Trump : I'm a Crook. so what!
    Republicans : We are all Crooks. Get over it!

    Putin : Well done. Mission Accomplished!.

  40. I was holding my breath hoping they weren’t going to make a 9/11 reference with the NY-before-Giuliani joke 😬 The joke honestly felt a little misplaced considering that historical note

  41. I thought Trumpers said they were rolling in dough from all that money they saved on tax cuts? Now they have to rob banks?

  42. Respect for porn creators and actors needs to go up. They are making a living out of this while Seth Meyers makes millions telling jokes on TV

  43. I really didn’t get Klobuchar’s boyfriends joke. I tend to overanalyze stuff, and as an editor I can pick something apart to death when I don’t need to do so. It’s… just a weird choice to make. It must have been picked, to be sassy and inject some levity. But beyond that, to be better than alternatives, it needs to send a strong message that’s positive in regards to her readiness and ability to do the job she wants. How did that make it onto the final sheet of sass/levity remarks? I honestly don’t know what ‘I raised a lot of money from old boyfriends,’ should be telling me.

    It’s just a fail, I think. In writing, if a sentence or exchange doesn’t do multiple things to progress the story, reveal character motivation, etc, it’s just not worth the space. Why pick a line that does one thing when you can pick one that does three or four?

    Her pick was just vague and unhelpful and, frankly, off-putting to some. For everyone saying, “You go, girl!” there is someone else thinking, “Here we go again, it’s been three minutes since I reminded people I’m a woman. Does she just have a ton of boyfriends? This feels vaguely ethically weird.”

    I know a lot of people travel in these campaign circuits and have experience in the general needs of a candidate. But dang. Have editors as well as writers!!! If you look good, we look good. End of story. Her writing team did not look good in this choice. Editors: we’re here to help. LET US.

  44. #FloridaMan robbing a bank, so what else is new? #ManipulatingAmerica’sGullibleAssholes

  45. When I further think about that call Sondland made to Trump while in Ukraine, it seems like it's what Trump wanted because Russia can listen in and Putin would know Trump is doing his job as told.

  46. Oooh Seth scared the bejesus out of me when u said here’s what nyc looked like before, ‘cos there was a very unfunny picture u could have shown

  47. Dear all, my father had to live now who would be ashamed of Your President, and believe me, he was really a Russian in heart and soul, and if I hear those republicans, be honest, I am not living there, but I see and hear, and it is not good for you and the world, wall the rest of the world is not going to bother you anymore, it is already happening, we do not need that chief, "he can have his own name don't even spell on twitter again, and Gep Jorden you are really an idiot who really does not come across here, so you would be silent and would not blow too high from the tower, otherwise they would blow you off mr, help me, I will you heplen, just deposit on my account, I will help, account number comes

  48. Free and legal porn on the internet is just excerpts of paying porn before it starts getting interesting, or without the good parts.
    Free porn on the internet is mostly pirated porn or camgirls

  49. Aw, they left out the best part about the bank robbery: He asked for $1100 and complained to the teller when she gave him $2000, saying it was too much.

  50. I can relate to Amy in this … lol

  51. DAMN! Someone was high when they wrote that BURN on Booker! LOL Corey might need some CBD ointment so he doesn't blister.

  52. When he gets impeached can we all say "Ya Fired!"

  53. #Bernie2020 Time to end this mess and get real progressive change for a change.

  54. Cuckoo rudy guiliani lost all his credibility as mayor and lawyer . He's a trump mule and the dumbest big mouth con man

  55. Joe Biden – an example of outdated thinking. Re marijuana. Immature thinking. Narrow minded thinking. I'm 72, and in my Unaffiliated/ Dem mind – is he for real.?
    In truth, he wants to delay, so his buddies like Phillip Morris, who already has their grubby hands on this MEDICINE, can wipe out the little guy.
    [ I believe that tobacco companies and Big Pharma SHOUKD BE BANNED from.any involvement in the cannibus industry. They will ruin it, pprice gouge, change quality, and they have continued to support higher medical costs and death.
    CO., along w/ Washington, in 2010 legalized marijuana- strong enforcement and legislation, dispensary oversight, health dept. Over site for grow houses etal. Strong licensing for owners, bud tenders etal. black market/ teen use/ dui are down.
    In reality the true gateway drug- that gets you " high"? And where our kids get their first experience ? Coffee. Soda. And now we have Starmucks! Talk about an Addiction !
    In 71, I worked as a VISTA , in VT. on anti- drug programs (as they were called) , with the state hospital in Montpelier , local police , drug counselors etc. That was the same arguement , 48 years ago! Zzzzzzz
    Fact is that more and more seniors are opting for cannibus and CBDs, and tossing those pills.
    Joe's buddies, at Big Pharma, also want legalization delayed as long as possible for that reason, among others.
    Studies?.numerous, current and ongoing lectures, classes for CECs, ..its been done.
    Keep studying hemp and weed , by all means, but Joe Biden, don't give me , a Dem, a voter and a medical patient that b.s !
    Voters, THIS is what's wrong with our System and those that want to represent us. They fail to look beyond their noses- as with everything, do they ever Google: " Countries who have legalized cannabis successfully ? ".
    Same with infrastructure, transportation. We are too full of our selves to even mandate solar ?
    To those who back Joe, good luck. But if Joe were smart, :
    He' d go through the process, aka research – get a medical marijuana exam, buys patient license, and visits a medical dispensary.
    HE needs to study up- not on the amount of money he gets if he delays legalization, but to accurately state current stats, and base his thinking the both success ( total) and failures.
    And since Joe and his Schmoes love fine whiskey , booze etc.,and claim never to gave tried pit, then how can you speak to something that has extreme medical values , and safe rec use?
    Joe will take us forward – just like the Cannonball train in Petticoat Junction. Chung along if you must

  56. Cory has got to go already.

  57. Does anyone know why they sometimes cut to that weird camera angle of the audience?

  58. The whole inquiry is 💩💩💩 and 😥😥😥

  59. I thought the end of that last joke before he said it.

  60. I'm sorry Seth, but porn you pay for is not only less likely to infect your computer with viruses, but also supports the creators and actors involved, and allows them to do more quality work. I know not everyone cares for that sort of thing, but I do think people should be able to make a fair pay for their work, and the actors in paid productions are more likely to have some sort of say in how they're treated, and to have their boundaries respected.

  61. @0:48 @SethMeyers #SlutShaming Amy Klobushar…. Any 59 year old woman with more than 1 or two ex's is ''freaky''…

  62. I thought their was going to be a really dark joke about New York before rudy.

  63. how come no news people are asking the questions if the Republican experience is so innocent why aren't pompeo Bolton and mulvaney out there explaining could it be because they might perjure themselves. Come on Republicans call your special witnesses put them out there on the hotseat

  64. Who buys porn anymore

  65. When Russia hacked the dnc they also hacked the rnc but they never released any of the info. It is now clear to me that the purpose of that was to hold Republicans in lineand it probably explains why Republicans went to Russia on the 4th of July .Russia has dirton the entire party and they have sold us out to maintain power. They are being blackmailed to keep there puppet in power. We have a problem my fellow citizens. So time to decide. Will we fight for our country or will we go down as the dumbest laziest generation….

  66. “Stepping in buckets”? I think you mean Nunez ‘stepped in 💩’

  67. Thanks again Seth 👍

  68. Let's hang trump with Giulianis intestines.

  69. Porn hub premium is free now why would any one pay . I heard it was free

  70. Fake news! Everyone loves Rudy!

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